Over and out

Dear Jess,

We started this blog on Thanksgiving Day (also your birthday) last November 27th because we were all, let's be honest, freaking out. Something terrible had happened to our friend, and we needed a way to tell you that we were behind you, without overwhelming your voicemail box. Three months and 211 blog posts later, we have become an army of cancer ninjas. We have reminisced about your intimidating first impressions, told stories about you, sifted through pictures to find one that might make you smile, donned red bracelets and ninjagnome t-shirts, and promised to grow mustaches in your honor.

This is the last post on the blog, but Jess, we're still your ninjas. We will continue to condition and practice our moves, because who knows when you might need one of us to tell a funny story to banish a dark thought, sing a line from Eye of the Tiger, or share a bottle of pink prosecco on somebody's porch somewhere. We are Team Jess! And we love you.

Love always,
Your Ninjas

Peace Yoda Style

Jess-
Sending you love and peace everyday... Yoda says it best.
You are loved, and continue to be superbly amazing.
Big hugs, Alison


(This was a post from long ago...but it seems appropriate now, still. Sorry A!)

On to the next thing

Blogs may come, and Blogs may go...but Ninjas are forever!

Even though we will not be united in Blogdom, we are still here. Your family of support. Your Ninja army. The closing of the blog put me in mind of a few things I am looking forward to: the Moustache-off 2009 (June), spring blossoms and daffodils, and a nice adult beverage on the patio in Crow at the end of a long day. Ahh, it gets no better.

hugs and love,
Rohanna

jess on the mountain

Don't do it!

So, Jess. I know that a lot of people get a tattoo after surviving a difficult experience, or as a symbol of strength and triumph. I respect this tradition, but I've seen so much bad ink that, as your friend, I feel I must warn you against some tats that you may be considering. We can help you come up with something meaningful and, well, not-horrifying, if you decide to go this route.

Big Thank You

Thank you Melissa and all of you who set up the blog. It really helped some ninjas in Vermont to know there was this phalanx of ferocious and sweet ninjas out there spporting Jess. Welcome home, Jess.

Can't wait to see you!
Anne

I Saw You

5th Street Market

You: Tall, long dark hair, beautiful laugh

Me: On the cell phone, trying to stand in the sun, so happy to see you

Shall we get together for some mischief and mayhem?

an open letter to the ninjas

To all the Ninjas:

Jess and Mark are home. Hurray! Back at work, back at the gym, back at a dinner table near you. It's not exactly the same - for example they'll be leaving again for a few weeks off and on, and Jess actually turned down a glass of red wine last night. But that's ok. We'll take what we can get around here, and it's almost rose season anyway.

To the far flung ninjas in Portland, Vermont, Montana, St. Louis, Southern California, and everywhere else - please know that the MacBlaines are well cared-for by the locals. We're bringing dinners, checking in, providing couches for curling up with tea, and offering more help and food than they could possibly want. We're doing it on behalf of all of you too - we know how much you love her. We know because you've been reading and posting on this blog.

Jess has told me how much people's words on the blog have helped her, and I think it's safe to say that the blog has helped a lot of us, whether we've been regular posters or not. It has helped me. It's comforting to know how many people out there love my friend Jess. I love knowing that so many people are thinking about her every day, wearing their red bracelets and willing to bare their soul in this public forum to make sure Jess knows how special she is. We are Team Jess! Cancer ninjas! Banding together to support our girl through the worst days, and raising our glasses to the best days.

It's time to close the blog. Jess needs different things from us now and she's checking email a lot more. I will keep welovejessblaine@gmail.com open until next week in case anyone has a last post. After that I'll make a book for Jess from the blog so she can remember all the sweet things people said and all the love we are still sending her way.

Love,
Melissa

home

Welcome home my dear.



So you're back. Back in our funny little city in the valley. Back on your porch, watching the mist rise off the fields across the road. Back in your own bed, drinking coffee from your own pot.

It's going to be a little weird for a while probably. Maybe a little culture shock? Like coming home after a few months in a foreign country (no offense, Portland). But the citizens of this place welcome you with open arms. We can't wait to hang out with you, take care of you, and be part of your new normal.

And pretty soon it will feel like it was all just a dream...


Love, Melissa

ninjagnomes

"It's complicated," we said when they asked. "It's kinda hard to explain," we said. Camilla tried: "so, we have this gnome thing, and then there's this ninja thing..." The lady walked away shaking her head. "No, we're not a team. Or a cult." We said. But maybe you'd better come home soon to keep us out of trouble.

On the occasion of your return

Here you are, on the other side of that kiln fire, transformed. I can only imagine the mishmash of exhaustion and exhilaration with which you are preparing for the journey back into strength and good health.

You can do it.

I think Darwin was right: "Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge: it is those who know little, and not those who know much, who so positively assert that this or that problem will never be solved by science." You have proven these last months that knowledge is power; it is fight; it is strength.

But it is on an occasion this important that the recovering Catholic in me sees the value, too, in invoking God. Don't worry, I'm not going all re-born on you (er, "not that there's anything wrong with that..."), but let's just cover all our bases, shall we?
The prayer below feels to me like Grandma-meets-fortune-cookie-meets-a-"Love is..."-statuette. Maybe a "Love is..." ninja statuette.
I bet if you eat tofu pate while you read it, you could call it a meditation.
I hope that you enjoy every last one of these happiness-es upon the momentous occasion of your return home...

Dear God, I thank thee for the little joys that spangle a day with brightness: The cool dew sparkling in the early morning, the smell of fresh coffee at breakfast, the tug of wind on white clothes billowing like sails on the line, the slamming of doors as members of the family come home, the sudden laughter of shared enjoyment, the happiness that comes from finding a certain letter in the mailbox, the thrill of discovering the first seedling poking up through garden soil, the pleasure of seeing old friends who drop in, the special music of church bells ringing on Sunday.

Help me to appreciate the value of the little things that shine in the texture of each day, for by finding happiness in this way, I shall have happiness to give. Amen

Biggest love, friend.
bobbie

Icebergs

So you're feeling like hell. That's good. You know, the body is an amazing thing. You are going to recover from this. Your good microbes will be back in shape in no time. You may not feel like your old self, but I wonder; do you feel like a new cancer-free self? It's easy from the outside to tell you to just embrace feeling shitty - because if you feel bad that cancer feels worse. It is the wimpy, shadow of what once was - while you grow your strength back every minute of every day from here on out. You may have fewer treatments and fewer doctors visits to look forward to, but you have more support from your friends and family to look forward to. We are going to keep this up! Keep the energy channel open! (Rohanna & Melissa, should this have had three exclamation points?) Keep feeling more and more like your new self! Keep focusing on your strength as the tip of the strength iceberg. That cancer is like the Titanic. You have a lot more strength not yet showing its face, lurking down in the depths, waiting to be revealed. You have a lot of friends waiting to be called upon for help. We can't wait to finally feel like we can do something for you. Please don't hesitate; we'll be icebergs too.

(Arica)

We are ready for ya

On my drive to work this morning I came across some graffiti. Now, usually I'm not a big fan of graffiti, but this...this was art! So, I ran home, got the camera, and wa-la, posted for you to see. Clearly, this is a sign. Eugene misses you and we are stoked for your upcoming return! Counting down the days until treatment is just an every now and again thing.

I've been thinking about how much fun it will be to visit you out in Crow - knitting, snacks, planning future adventures... I echo the sentiments of others when I say how much I have missed having you around in my daily life and SO look forward to seeing your face, hearing your laughter, and having a chat. I was up at a ski lodge on Saturday and a flash of another woman's curly dark hair under a knitted cap made me think of you. I still automatically look for you when I go for tea or pizza at Provisions. And I see you in every silver jeep and black matrix that drives by. I am so excited that soon I don't have to imagine you back in my world, because you will be. And don't think that you are done with this bitchin' group of people constantly sending you love and ninja kicks. Coming home is just the beginning...

Keep up the ass kicking.
Roh

Anthem for Week 7

Here you are my dear. Your Anthem for the final stretch, brought to you by your peeps from all over the country. Crank up the audio on your computer, this one should be viewed at max volume. Sing it loud and proud, it's what we'll all be doing. Never once during these past weeks have we stopped believin' and we're gonna keep on believin' in our own small town girl.



Oh, and did you notice the shirt on Steve Perry? YELLOW.
And, oh my god, the high pants.

Nathan Channeling His Inner Chuck Norris

Jess, you have inspired new interest in extra curricular activities. I've got your back! Looking forward to seeing you in Crow soon.

THE TROUBLE WITH SMALL TOWNS

My heart practically leaps out of my throat when I read and re-read and re-read your posting that tells us you are transitioning toward coming home. The trouble with living in a small town (have I already mentioned how you, Jess, are a part of the reason we stayed in Eugene?) is that when one friend is gone for so long, it is really noticed. I want you back here! I am willing to part with you every few weeks, but only for a short trip back to OHSU – since they are taking such good care of you. Your parents can borrow you as well since they seem to have this caring thing down pat. Its hard to concede that at this point, when you’ve worked so hard in the treatment marathon you are not “done”. But you are in the home stretch and you can see that finish line. So you’ve got to stop and start a few more times. Its okay. You can be home in between. Home is good.

Now, a mental exercise (for both Jess and Mark): Imagine yourself at a friend’s house. You have a smooth, cold but perspiring bottle of beer (or limoncello) in one hand and a few greasy crumbles of ruffled potato chips in the other. You look around and see two dozen of your close friends chatting, laughing, smiling. You breathe in through your nose and what’s that smell? Its some large chunk of meat on the grill. Maybe it rained earlier in the day, but its sunny now and it’s the first BBQ of the year. You soak in the warm sun and take a sip. Mmmm, BBQ is good.

(Arica)

flower for the home stretch

Hi Jess-
Here's a welcome-home poppy for you...

The other day I saw a real-life ninja fly by the Excelsior on his bicycle. He was all in black, pedaling furiously to fulfill his mission. I assumed he was one of yours ;-)

Joyce

Beary Ninja

Dear Jess,

So I was thinking that while you have both beary special AND beary bitchy for as long as you need them right now, we might need a new one. Special and bitchy are two important charateristics that will help you through this time, but really we need something to inspire you to channel your inner ninja. (Not that you need inspiration for that - you're doing a great job, as noted elsewhere on this blog - but anything helps, right?) So I hereby bestow the Beary Ninja award on you.

As it turns out, Ninja Bear is an actual term, according to Urban Dictionary.com:

1. Ninja Bear
First seen at the Edinburgh Festival and worn intrinsically for banter, one can become a Ninja Bear by wearing the correct eclectic attire. This encompasses a furry-eared hat and a ninja sword of any description. Further items are permitted, the usual being a pair of glasses. The Ninja Bear is a smooth operator whose habits are far-reaching and far-fetched. These include drinking with abandon, reckless nights of debauchery and kissing fit people.
The Ninja Bear was wasted last night, it was awesome. I pulled this fit girl and was thrown out of that watering hole for laying hands on a motherfucker, who was trying to ninja the hat.

2. Ninja Bear
Noun: 1. A person who is bear-like in appearance and mannerism, but has undergone actual ninja training and posesses the skills of a shadow assassin. 2. Part ninja, part teddy bear, all luv machine.
People who pretend to be ninja bears, brings to mind how everyone pretends they're Irish on St. Patrick's Day.

So Beary Ninja-smooth operator-shadow assasin-luv machine. You've got mad nunchuck skills and you are not afraid to use them in these last days of cancer ass-kicking.

Love, Melissa

P.S. In case you need a visual:

Bruce Lee

Dear Jess,

Can’t wait to see you tomorrow. In keeping with the Ninja theme, check out this old Bruce Lee clip. As far as I can tell, you are doing to cancer what Bruce does to that ping pong ball.


Your Kung Fu is very strong!

Love,
Rickobs

extra inspiration

Hey Jess,
Hopefully this will provide you with a little extra inspiration duringthese last weeks. Go kick some more cancer ass! We're sending goodthoughts your way. We love you and we miss you and can't wait 'til you're back in the hood!
Love,Lewis, Rebecca & Alice

Hey, Country Mouse,

Remember when we were going to pitch our country mouse/city mouse stories to KLCC? It wasn't really a bad idea.

Here are some crows in a tree I can see from our backyard.

I don't really know why I took this photo, but here it is, mundane and wintery and hopeful. (Bob and I used to have a contest each night where we'd compete to see who could tell the most mundane story from our day. I'd be like, I saw our neighbor, and we talked about how it's supposed to rain tomorrow, and Bob would be, like, I was eating my apple at work today and it seemed really loud, like everyone could hear every crunch-- Bob 1, Jamie 0). Anyway, there are lots of these beautiful, mundane winter days left for you to enjoy in Eugene and Crow and lots of people here who want to share them with you.

Congratulations, you're almost through this. I miss you a bunch and can't wait to toast you, Izze to Izze, at Corno.

Love from your city mouse friend,
Jamie

A+ For Jess

I was grading my student's homework recently and thinking about how I didn't get grades when I was young and homeschooled. The weird thing was that I really wanted grades, type A personality alert... Anyway, I decided that you deserve an A+ for your skills at kicking cancer's ass. There is abundant evidence for this: 1) You have completed all of your assignments so far, plus some additional flying across the country for more stuff (extra credit). 2) There is a documented change over time, and it is in the correct direction (shrinkage is good). 3) You have recruited and maintaned an effective, nation/world wide support group - and accessed that support (nice job working well with others and accepting support!). 4) You have maintained a saucy attitude (this is key in my personal grading rubric). 5) You are a rock star, an inspiration, and, a Ninja (go Jess). Keep up the good work!
Rohanna

We Love Jess

(from Karen)

VOTE for Week 7

OK people, try these four songs on for size.
It's gotta be something good, something to rock Jess's last week of treatment. I highly recommend checking these out live on youtube before you cast your vote.

Also, please consider these thoughts and commentaries before making your choice:

I'm Still Standing:
Elton John has joined the likes of Phish and Jerry Garcia by having a special ice-cream created in his honour by Ben & Jerry’s. ‘Goodbye Yellow Brickle Road' is said to be “an outrageous symphony of decadent chocolate ice cream, peanut butter cookie dough, butter brickle and white chocolate chunks."

I'm Walking on Sunshine:
The song inspired this picture: https://market.renderosity.com/mod/gallery/index.php?image_id=1752956&member Need I say more? "And this is why I have an angel walking on the clouds. I was going to call this Walking on Cloud Nine but went with Walking on Sunshine because every time I look at this picture, that song is associated with it. :) Hope you like it! Be sure to zoom on the picture to see the details."

Don't Stop Believing:
There are two kinds of people in this world: People who love Journey ironically and people who love Journey genuinely. People who love Journey ironically are mostly leather-clad hipsters in second-hand vintage T-shirts, smoking cloves and hanging with strung-out androgynous she-boys outside used record stores. As for people who love Journey genuinely, they do so because of this song. Say what you will about Steve Perry (For example: He looks like Paris Hilton with Down Syndrome) but the man could sing.

The Final Countdown:
The synthesizer riff in this 1986 track is as fist-pumping as music gets without involving an actual instrument. We're not clear on what he's counting down to, but somebody's about to get their ass kicked. If we were wrestlers and it was 1986 again, we'd totally have this as our intro music.

Mile 19

JMB, this is you in two weeks. Your ninja crew is waiting on the other side of that finish line, screaming your name and doing ninja kicks and karate chops as you haul your ass down that final stretch. We're gonna wrap you in a weird silver survival blanket and offer you a paper cup full of chili, a bruised banana and maybe some boiled potatoes dipped in salt -- or, if you prefer, we'll build a fire, make a cozy nest on the couch and bring you delicious treats. However it goes down, we'll just be happy to have our Jess back, ensconced in the Crow's nest, regaining your footing, and putting this crap behind you. Your ninja crew is here to help you do that, too. Love, R

Anthem for Week 6

Sorry Dave, Fleetwood Mac won the popular vote by a landslide. (Pun intended.)

Jess, despite the attempts to belittle this week's anthem choices, I actually think this one is a perfect choice for Week 6. Or mile 19 as Mark called it. You've got two weeks left my dear, and you can do anything for two weeks. There's a light at the top of the well now...

If you wake up and don't want to smile,
If it takes just a little while,
Open your eyes and look at the day,
You'll see things in a different way.

Don't stop, thinking about tomorrow,
Don't stop, it'll soon be here,
It'll be, better than before,
Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone.

So put on those headphones and let HP march you away to the tune of this song:

ninja bath

Here's Gavin demonstrating the proper Ninja butt-washing technique.

Anthem

After reading Dave's analysis of this weeks anthem choices, we whole-heartedly agree and offer up the following ideas:

If Pat Benetar is a favorite, "Hit Me with your best Shot" is the obvious choice

"We're Not gonna take it" by Twisted Sister is a fan favorite for an 80's guitar rock, few chords ass-kick'n anthem

If country is your thing, "Find yourself" by Brad Paisley

And for sheer entertainment, "Bitchin' Camero" by the Dead Milkmen.

Last, but not least, an excellent song for any occasion, "Get Free" by the Vines

Jess, we hope that any of these songs will bring a smile to your face and let you know that we are thinking about you in the frozen tundra that is St. Louis, MO. Our best to you and Mark

Love, the Tourniers

Anthem. From Dave.

Sorry, I can't vote for any of those songs. So, there's this instrument maker who always talks about the people he has built for and... nevermind. Long story short is that most Fleetwood Mac songs are now a bit tainted for me and "Don't Stop Thinking About Tomorrow" was never one of my favorites to begin with. Moving on.

Whitney. Hmmm... Too much baggage, and when was the last time a Whitney song sounded like an anthem? She can't even sing "Oh Canada" without trying to show off. And, oh yeah, if you're smokin' a rock you're supposed to stay in the shadows. Moving on.

Madonna. Ever since she caused every Pepsi exec in the country to have a simultaneous coronary by dry-docking with a twelve year old on national TV, I've been a fan. But my admiration stops shy of her music. We need another choice.

We need a product of the 80's that can sing an ANTHEM! We need a song that says "Fuck Cancer!" We need a song that says "Hey World, Obama is our president now and we'd like to come out and play again and we promise not to pee in the pool, throw sand, or lick all the Oreos." We need a song that says all that but... better. And it needs to sound like an anthem, and it needs guitars. Guitars at the knees and not too many chords, and it needs to be loud. And it needs to be sung by someone like Jess who is defying logic and the rest of us and is getting hotter with age - and could also kick your ass!!!

Amen... Hallelujah... where's the aspirin?

Dog Love

Hello Lovely-
Yesterday was a crisp, sunny day in Eugene, so Marley and I ventured out to celebrate one of the ever fabulous Mondays off (okay maybe only a half day!). During the course of our walk I found myself thinking of you (again!). Marley's expression pretty much says it all. I know she thinks you're great too.

Sending big dog smiles and the good vibe.

With love and hugs, Alison

Vote for Week 6 Anthem

Once again we have mined our database of Most Inspirational Songs and we have found three for you to choose from. Vote to your right.

And if you have ideas for future Anthems, leave them in a comment below!

Flower of the Week

Hi Jess-
Your friend Arica is right: so many of us are thinking of you *every* day. Rest as much as you can, pamper yourself, and let your friends do the heavy lifting.

Here is your flower of the week. It's a crown of thorns, which suggests both trial and triumph. Take some energy from the red blooms, a proactive color of strength and hope.

Joyce

Strength and Wisdom

Silver contemplates strength and wisdom with Gn"om"

xo,
Your Crazy Gnome Lady

Anthem for Week 5

Chosen by overwhelming popular vote, please enjoy Jess's anthem for Week 4.

Jess, take special note of the part, about 2/3 of the way through the video, where the creepy vest guy is hassling the young lady and Pat and her Thriller-esque cohort teach him a lesson. I'm imagining your cancerous mass as the vested hassler, you're Pat of course, and we're your big-haired back up dancers shaking our boobs at the creepy vest guy.

We are strong.
No one can tell us we're wrong.
Love is a battlefield.

Indeed.

VOTE!

Hello Ninjas.
We have added a new and exciting interactive feature to the welovejessblaine blog. Check it out to the right - we'll now be voting for Jess's weekly anthem to provide a little inspiration and something to sing in the shower. You'll see three unquestionably moving choices. Vote for your favorite. The one with the most votes by Sunday at 5pm will become Jess's Anthem for Week 5.

You can also suggest songs for future anthems by adding a comment below.

Pirates or Ninjas?

(Nick and Tom are my two friends that live on a random website found by typing Harry Potter and Ninja into the Google. This is a conversation between them, which I tried to join, but they're pretty exclusive so I only got a few words in edgewise.)

Nick: Do you think Harry Potter is a Ninja or a Pirate?
Tom: I think Harry Potter is definitely a Ninja
Tom: it's the cloak of invisibility
Nick: Really?
Tom: but Ron Weasley is WAY pirate
Nick: I would have said the relentless good feeling made Harry a pirate.
Tom: I'm going to categorise EVERYONE into categories of ninja and pirate from now on:
Tom: Margaret Thatcher - pirate
Tom: Bill Gates - pirate
Tom: Steve Jobs - ninja
Melissa: Jessica MacMurray Blaine - ninja
Melissa: Karen Stapleton- ninja
Melissa: all the MICE - ninjas
Melissa: Frank MacMurray - ninja
Nick: And Ninjas are, of course, creatures of the night, subversive, rejecting the male authority...
Tom: exactly
Tom: much like...
Tom: Britney Spears
Tom: - ninja
Nick: Subtle rather than confrontational, weaker in a head-on confrontation...
Tom: actually no. she's a pirate
Melissa: I agree
Melissa: Barak Obama - ninja
Melissa: Sarah Palin - pirate
Melissa: Voldemort - pirate
Melissa: I will now be categorizing everyone as a ninja or pirate. It's addictive, much like Kanye West. He's definitely a ninja too.

Ninjas read Harry Potter too:

Let HP get you through the day my friend.

Busy Lady

Wow! Jess, you must be tired. You come to work with me every day. You ride my bike to teach at school and go running with my friend Lorri and me. You pickup groceries, you clean my house. You even come to MICE. (You don’t come to bed with me or shower with me; sorry I gotta draw the line.)

You are a busy lady running around everywhere with everyone who proudly wears their TEAM JESS bracelet. You are with us all every day, every moment.

Don’t forget to take us with you too. Take us to the doctor visit, to the treatment room, to anywhere you need us. We are your team. We’ll keep sending you energy… you are almost there, but we know you need us just a few more weeks. We’ll keep you with us.

As I mail out more bracelets today, I hope you remember how your circle widens and grows stronger every time we look down and see your name in bright, powerful red right alongside us as we go about our day. You are on our minds.

Arica

Live from DC

(Tuesday)

It's Obama time!! I thought of you today while standing on the mall, hoping that you were watching history and smiling through treatment. Stay warm!

All the good omens

(Tuesday)

The past week has been just achingly beautiful, full of gifts and surprises.
I felt a little weepy for how gorgeous this shiny, new day has been -- a perfect day to be together as a country and to step forward into change.

I smiled through tears as President, PRESIDENT, Obama talked about grit and truth: "Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends — hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism — these things are old. These things are true."

I laughed and didn't cry, but cringed at the high school photos my friend Amy posted to our favorite time-eating social networking site. To be honest, I'd forgotten, or maybe denied, that there was such joy in that phase of life.

I laughed and cried all at once this weekend as Baby Tau Frankensteined his first four steps; good kid -- though he's been on the verge for weeks now, he waited for both me and Dan to be in the same room to see him walk.

I whooped out loud and cried only a little at the news that you are winning. There's been some collective breath-holding going on, as you of all people can well imagine, and it felt good to just let the diaphragm relax a little, to breathe deep and steady, and to feel OK.

Friend, this is obviously the week you should buy a lottery ticket. Sending love and peace.
bobbie

Anthem for Week 4

And another one down....


According to the Google there is a protocol for this song:

Best Things to Do While Listening:
Ideally, you should be celebrating some kind of sporting victory. Or, maybe if you get in a lot of fistfights, you could have one of your cohorts play this as they haul the other guy away, bleeding.

In light of your recent victory, we here on Malibu Way feel that this song is particularly appropriate as you head into Week 4. You've won one battle and are well on your way (75%!)to winning the war.

(Not to mention, a 'stache and a tank top?! Love it.)

Ninja Hamster

(From Alison)

Good Times

Blue sky and sunshine makes me dream of summer. Is there a more perfect place to spend some time than along the Deschutes River? Looking at this picture of you laughing with our friends always makes me smile, as does the memory of your attempt to pour red wine on my father-in-law's suit the next day. Good thoughts going your way.

Love ya, Karen

Billy Collins 4 U

Hi Jess-
A friend sent me this Billy Collins poem. I thought you'd like it.

Despair

So much gloom and doubt in our poetry-
flowers writing on the table,
the self regarding itself in a watery mirror.

Dead leaves cover the ground
the wind moans in the chimney
and the tendrils of the yew tree inch toward the coffin.

I wonder what the ancient chinese poets
would make of all this,
tree shadows and empty cupboards?

Today, with the sun blazing in the trees,
my thoughts turn to the great
tenth-century celebrators of experience,

Wa-Hoo, whose delight in the smallest things
could hardly be restrained,
and to his joyous counterpart in the western provinces,
Ye-Hah.

Wishing you many more Ye-Hahs than Boo-Hoos
Joyce (Alison's mom)

battle sequence

This is Jess.

This is Jess surveying the hill in front of her.

This is Jess skiing/slogging/reverse snowplowing uphill.

This is Jess kicking cancer's ass. GO, Jess, GO!

You're not over the halfway hump of the 6 week torture, but you can see the terrain ahead of you. You know what to do. We know you can do it. We are still behind you.
I hear that feeling crappy means the treatment is working. So in that case, I hope you feel like hell.

Love,Arica

Good news rocks!

Jess,

So I pulled up at knitting last night and saw the most wonderful sight... the MacBlaine truck parked outside! My heart skipped a beat and I was flooded with warm feelings about Jess and Mark and construction/demolition projects out in Crow. I held on to the feeling that you were inside with a glass of wine, curled up on the couch knitting something fantastic. Then, when leaving, I saw the truck again, and it was like you were there. Now, writing this, I hear your laughter and some slight teasing about how when you come back to knitting  you will ride in comfort and style in the Element or Jeep, of course.

More importantly, I am overjoyed by your good news today! Yay for good news! I look forward to your return to Crow in a few weeks, with the crud stomped out. We will provide you with tons of TLC while you recuperate from the chemicals and drama. Most importantly, I look forward to when we look back on this as a distant memory.

We will continue to send our good ninja vibes and karate chops to speed along the banishment. Lots of love, Rohanna

Kicking cancer's ass

I found a couple T-shirt designs on the interwebz that seemed appropriate for this happy moment, although they lack the requisite ninja dagger or throwing star for this particular cancer fight. Dave -- can you get on that for us? Thanks. R

Week Three: Manic Monday (Bangles, of course), Guaro, & Red Wine

Cheers from the parking lot

Saturday was a glorious bluebird day at Bachelor. The snow was so-so, but the scenery was incredible and a few runs in the afternoon was a wonderfully relaxing time. We got there late and left early - perfect. So here's a "Cheers to Jess" from the parking lot you know so well.

- LT, DG, and TypeA

We missed you...

Hey, Jess. Just read your latest posting, and am very glad indeed the treatments are just annoying and not much more. We did miss you in NH, but your Dad read the lovely Chinese poem, and I was transported back to a gorgeous sunny day in Portland! Our four-day houseparty seemed to work very well, even to meals being delivered to the house for the hungry hordes. What with snowballs and sledding and chats by the fire, everyone seemed to mix up nicely. Max and Gavin stole the show, and David's four grandchildren fought over who could play with them! Laurence and Merrill had already given us all a new definition of family in their welcoming you to Houston and MDACC, so we started well along in mixing up Coopers and MacMurrays. If you'd be amused, we can send you a video of the service. We're thinking of you every day, and sending you so much love and hope. What with all your allies, human and scientific, those misbehaving cells don't stand a chance.
Much love,
L.

Haikus

Jess,
I hope your treatments are going well and you are feeling okay. I was so sorry to hear about your diagnosis, but I have the utmost confidence that you will beat this beast, especially with all these cloaked ninjas at your side. I have composed a series of haiku, because every ninja loves a good haiku.

I.

small cancerous growth
doesn't stand a chance against
powerful ninjas


II.
chemotherapy
plus radiation cocktail
siyonara growth

III.
spirits remain high
Jess prepares swords and nun-chucks
to kick this f@#!'s ass


I'd love to come and cook for you and watch movies with you when you are recovering in Crow!

(Elise Ferrarese)

Anthem for week three

Courtesy of the Jess Kicks Ass mix by DJ Joel

When the sun shines we'll shine together
Told you I'd be here forever
Said I'll always be a friend
Took an oath I'ma stick it out till the end

Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that we'll still have each other
You can stand under my umbrella
You can stand under my umbrella

Go to treatment, you aren't missing much outside

So, we are in (as Melissa calls it) Tropical New England. And you aren't missing much. There is freezing rain, a la Portland Oregon, and it has fallen on the snow making this ultra slick ground cover that is just fantastic. You have so seen this so nothing new. The middle of the country is freezing cold too, so not fun. I hear Seattle is flooding and Washington state is falling into the Pacific, not missing anything new there either. Internationally, I hear that there are a few military conflicts here and there so travel is pretty much not a good time - might as well stay home. Here in Chez Buchanan we are watching the college football playoffs (but if you have a TV I'm sure you can get that), waiting to drive to the Manchester airport to get Julie (you don't want to go), and knitting with Nana. The knitting with Nana part is fun, but what you are really not missing is the part where when the phone rings (and it does a lot)this fire alarm sounding device goes off scaring the bejesus out of those of us who don't live here. Seriously, when I lose my hearing I'm getting a phone that vibrates. So, I guess you should stay home, go to treatment, then go nap. Plus have people be super nice to you. Given the alternatives, that sounds like the best plan. I hope to be back in Oregon soon to join you.

Big hugs and a large glass of wine,Rohanna

I pity the fool...

I pity the fool who messes with Jess.

So, I was feeling silly - as I generally do by 4:30 in the afternoon, having been taped to my chair at work all day - and wanted to post something on the blog, so I went to google images and typed in "ninja tea party". I don't know why I did it. Maybe it was the fleeting moments of sun today that made me think of a tea party for ninjas. This was one of the top 10 images to come up on my screen.

Jess, we'll be your A-Team. Better, actually. But never forget how many you have in your army.

(Arica)

I Love Jess Blaine!

Today's card: Simplicity.

xxoo, alison

Eye of the F*$@ing tiger

It is possible that I will be singing this song until the end of time. But watching it live in full leopard print might have been worth it. So Spinal Tap (which, by the way, I remember watching in your living room so long ago.) Speaking of those days, remember this truck. She's still kicking it here in Montana and that's genuine keep-the-cows-out-bloody-your-hands-western barbed wire pilled in the back under all that snow. Ain't she purty.

Life is rolling along here. Eliza has learned to say don't. As in "don't touch my butt" which she said yesterday. I found her today standing on the kitchen counter, reaching for the cabinets above her head because she thought there was candy in there. She feeds Lyle with a fork and completely ignores me when I tell her not to. At 2.5 she sends me some days to the edge of reason.

And then there is her sisiter. Juicy is sweet and smiley and as mellow as a bunch of hippies at the country fair. I'll let you decide who's personality traits are at play in each of our children.

Well, since you are battling cancer and all, and because I think about you nonstop, I've decided to do something positive with my Jess energy. I'm going to learn how to cook. I heard you just now. That little half laugh. That audible "I don't know about that." Well anyway, it's true. I'm thinking of getting some books and maybe spending some time on the Cooks Illustrated website. You'll see. You concentrate on showing the big C the door and I'll make you something good. No backwood Southern shit, I swear.

And between now and then, if you want company on those Forest Park walks, holler. I'll be on the next train. I'm serious.

xoxo,

savage

Some sexual chocolate for you to chew on

anthem for week two

Hangin' tough, stayin' hungry...



Risin' up, back on the street
Did my time, took my chances
Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet
Just a man and his will to survive

So many times, it happens too fast
You change your passion for glory
Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past
You must fight just to keep them alive

Chorus:
It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight
Risin' up to the challenge of our rival
And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night
And he's watchin' us all in the eye of the tiger

Face to face, out in the heat
Hangin' tough, stayin' hungry
They stack the odds 'til we take to the street
For we kill with the skill to survive

chorus

Risin' up, straight to the top
Have the guts, got the glory
Went the distance, now I'm not gonna stop
Just a man and his will to survive

chorus

The eye of the tiger (repeats out)...

from Bill

Promise of spring

Hi Jess-
More flower power, and a promise of spring to brighten a gray day...
Joyce (Alison's mom)

Aspens

I was just thinking about how so many of the women posting on this blog have a great story about the first time they met you. It seems like most of them involved you being intimidating. I love that idea: intimidate your cancerous mass all you can, scary lady!

Funny, I don't remember the first time I met you. It was probably 12 or 13 years ago in that big pink house on 3rd and Pearl when Melissa and I lived together and you came down for a visit. Did we have tacos at Tres Hermanas? Hmmm. Anyway, I don't particularly remember you as intimidating, but I do recall your lovely smile.

What I remember well is the day I really fell in love with you. It was on a hike outside Flagstaff. Must've been early fall. I remember that you and I fell behind the rest of the group, and we had a spirited conversation about, well, you remember. So much has changed since that day, in all of our lives. But I remember your fiery opinions, your fierce protectiveness and your no-bullshit attitude and those are still things I love about you. You are fiery and fierce, and kind and loyal. You do not tolerate bullshit easily, and that's a quality I think will serve you well throughout this experience.

If I had a photo of that day to post it would be a picture of you in patagonia stand ups, a yellow fleece pullover, and chacos. You'd be standing on a trail, surrounded by yellow aspens and high desert pines. The sun would be shining on your hair and glinting off your blue eyes. You'd be poised and confident, and you'd be just a little bit angry. That's the image I'm holding of you.

Love, Melis

Ninja Smiles

Lucy Lu sends you big smiles and big love. We all do. One week of treatment down. One foot in front of the other. Before you know it you'll be home, with this whole mess behind you. You are missed every day around here. -Melis

Missing Mouse

This sucks! I miss you too much, Jess and Mark. I want you back. MICE is not whole without you. Who will get your work assignments in your absence? Who will shotgun Mark’s PBR when he has a soccer game and can’t drink? It’s January MICE at the Duhrkoop-Galases (or DGs as Rohanna would write, because she IS into the whole brevity thing) and we have many tasks for our ass-kickingest female Mouse. So, Jess get your Sawzall, cat’s paw, belt sander into action and demolish bad, stupid cancer. Then, get your tails back to Eugene. We’ll try to manage without you….for a little while longer. We need you! You complete us. -Arica

Hack Sushi

We've been away in Boise for a week or so, and while we were there we made sushi. This made me think of that Entree story you wrote about"hack sushi" -- which is what you are really doing when you make sushi at home, you informed us, because in Japan sushi is like an art form and people who make sushi can be named National Treasures or something.

But my brother, Dave, is pretty good at it. So we rolled up some sushi. First thing I discovered is that if your rice isn't of even thickness, your pieces of sushi come out all lopsided, which really looks lame.

My dad refused to eat the eat the sushi. "I don't eat seaweed," he told us, though he doesn't have any problem with raw fish. Anyway this was all great fun, and I kept thinking you would have enjoyed thewhole scene and been right in the mix, arguing with my dad about seaweed -- and any number of other things -- because we all always argue with my dad -- about pretty much anything.

The same night we made sushi, we also made pizza (why not?). We had this cheese-making kit that you may be familiar with. It's thecheese-making kit they use in that Barbara Kingsolver book "Animal,Vegetable, Mineral." You can make your own mozzarella in 30 minutes (with some help from a microwave). If there were some late great Japanese sushi chefs rolling in their graves that night, I can only imagine what the European cheese-makers were thinking. "My god, I zpend my whole life learning to make ze cheese, and look at you -- 30 meenutes? -- I cannot even bear to see zis ..." Yes, the moz was not so good -- but maybe someday you'll decide to write an Entree story about this cheese-making kit: Hack Cheese. Or perhaps not.

Anyway, I hope you will be comforted to know that we did try to keep the proper respect for the great food traditions of the world even as we were desecrating them. Thanks for writing that article about sushi. Otherwise, I never would have known. You should be a National Treasure. You certainly are a Eugene Treasure.

I hope the treatment doesn't have you feeling too crappy these days,but I know you're tough enough, whatever the side effects.

Oh! My hair started falling out again. This was not intentional.Yesterday Jamie noticed that I have this little bald spot on the topof my head, the size of a thumbprint. I had one once before on theback of my neck that got to be about the size of a half-dollar. Joel always used to ask about it and I never knew what to say. Just arandom bald spot. It went away eventually -- but it took almost twoyears. I don't know if your chemo is going to do anything to yourhair, but fuck hair anyway.

-- Bob

Missing you

Some more kids who love you. Now we all sleep under jessica-inspired quilts. We reaaaaaaallllllllly missed you, marc, bird, and gary over xmas, and can't wait to see you soon. Love from your Damrosch second cousins---finn, sophie, and eliza.