Over and out

Dear Jess,

We started this blog on Thanksgiving Day (also your birthday) last November 27th because we were all, let's be honest, freaking out. Something terrible had happened to our friend, and we needed a way to tell you that we were behind you, without overwhelming your voicemail box. Three months and 211 blog posts later, we have become an army of cancer ninjas. We have reminisced about your intimidating first impressions, told stories about you, sifted through pictures to find one that might make you smile, donned red bracelets and ninjagnome t-shirts, and promised to grow mustaches in your honor.

This is the last post on the blog, but Jess, we're still your ninjas. We will continue to condition and practice our moves, because who knows when you might need one of us to tell a funny story to banish a dark thought, sing a line from Eye of the Tiger, or share a bottle of pink prosecco on somebody's porch somewhere. We are Team Jess! And we love you.

Love always,
Your Ninjas

Peace Yoda Style

Jess-
Sending you love and peace everyday... Yoda says it best.
You are loved, and continue to be superbly amazing.
Big hugs, Alison


(This was a post from long ago...but it seems appropriate now, still. Sorry A!)

On to the next thing

Blogs may come, and Blogs may go...but Ninjas are forever!

Even though we will not be united in Blogdom, we are still here. Your family of support. Your Ninja army. The closing of the blog put me in mind of a few things I am looking forward to: the Moustache-off 2009 (June), spring blossoms and daffodils, and a nice adult beverage on the patio in Crow at the end of a long day. Ahh, it gets no better.

hugs and love,
Rohanna

jess on the mountain

Don't do it!

So, Jess. I know that a lot of people get a tattoo after surviving a difficult experience, or as a symbol of strength and triumph. I respect this tradition, but I've seen so much bad ink that, as your friend, I feel I must warn you against some tats that you may be considering. We can help you come up with something meaningful and, well, not-horrifying, if you decide to go this route.

Big Thank You

Thank you Melissa and all of you who set up the blog. It really helped some ninjas in Vermont to know there was this phalanx of ferocious and sweet ninjas out there spporting Jess. Welcome home, Jess.

Can't wait to see you!
Anne

I Saw You

5th Street Market

You: Tall, long dark hair, beautiful laugh

Me: On the cell phone, trying to stand in the sun, so happy to see you

Shall we get together for some mischief and mayhem?

an open letter to the ninjas

To all the Ninjas:

Jess and Mark are home. Hurray! Back at work, back at the gym, back at a dinner table near you. It's not exactly the same - for example they'll be leaving again for a few weeks off and on, and Jess actually turned down a glass of red wine last night. But that's ok. We'll take what we can get around here, and it's almost rose season anyway.

To the far flung ninjas in Portland, Vermont, Montana, St. Louis, Southern California, and everywhere else - please know that the MacBlaines are well cared-for by the locals. We're bringing dinners, checking in, providing couches for curling up with tea, and offering more help and food than they could possibly want. We're doing it on behalf of all of you too - we know how much you love her. We know because you've been reading and posting on this blog.

Jess has told me how much people's words on the blog have helped her, and I think it's safe to say that the blog has helped a lot of us, whether we've been regular posters or not. It has helped me. It's comforting to know how many people out there love my friend Jess. I love knowing that so many people are thinking about her every day, wearing their red bracelets and willing to bare their soul in this public forum to make sure Jess knows how special she is. We are Team Jess! Cancer ninjas! Banding together to support our girl through the worst days, and raising our glasses to the best days.

It's time to close the blog. Jess needs different things from us now and she's checking email a lot more. I will keep welovejessblaine@gmail.com open until next week in case anyone has a last post. After that I'll make a book for Jess from the blog so she can remember all the sweet things people said and all the love we are still sending her way.

Love,
Melissa

home

Welcome home my dear.



So you're back. Back in our funny little city in the valley. Back on your porch, watching the mist rise off the fields across the road. Back in your own bed, drinking coffee from your own pot.

It's going to be a little weird for a while probably. Maybe a little culture shock? Like coming home after a few months in a foreign country (no offense, Portland). But the citizens of this place welcome you with open arms. We can't wait to hang out with you, take care of you, and be part of your new normal.

And pretty soon it will feel like it was all just a dream...


Love, Melissa

ninjagnomes

"It's complicated," we said when they asked. "It's kinda hard to explain," we said. Camilla tried: "so, we have this gnome thing, and then there's this ninja thing..." The lady walked away shaking her head. "No, we're not a team. Or a cult." We said. But maybe you'd better come home soon to keep us out of trouble.

On the occasion of your return

Here you are, on the other side of that kiln fire, transformed. I can only imagine the mishmash of exhaustion and exhilaration with which you are preparing for the journey back into strength and good health.

You can do it.

I think Darwin was right: "Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge: it is those who know little, and not those who know much, who so positively assert that this or that problem will never be solved by science." You have proven these last months that knowledge is power; it is fight; it is strength.

But it is on an occasion this important that the recovering Catholic in me sees the value, too, in invoking God. Don't worry, I'm not going all re-born on you (er, "not that there's anything wrong with that..."), but let's just cover all our bases, shall we?
The prayer below feels to me like Grandma-meets-fortune-cookie-meets-a-"Love is..."-statuette. Maybe a "Love is..." ninja statuette.
I bet if you eat tofu pate while you read it, you could call it a meditation.
I hope that you enjoy every last one of these happiness-es upon the momentous occasion of your return home...

Dear God, I thank thee for the little joys that spangle a day with brightness: The cool dew sparkling in the early morning, the smell of fresh coffee at breakfast, the tug of wind on white clothes billowing like sails on the line, the slamming of doors as members of the family come home, the sudden laughter of shared enjoyment, the happiness that comes from finding a certain letter in the mailbox, the thrill of discovering the first seedling poking up through garden soil, the pleasure of seeing old friends who drop in, the special music of church bells ringing on Sunday.

Help me to appreciate the value of the little things that shine in the texture of each day, for by finding happiness in this way, I shall have happiness to give. Amen

Biggest love, friend.
bobbie

Icebergs

So you're feeling like hell. That's good. You know, the body is an amazing thing. You are going to recover from this. Your good microbes will be back in shape in no time. You may not feel like your old self, but I wonder; do you feel like a new cancer-free self? It's easy from the outside to tell you to just embrace feeling shitty - because if you feel bad that cancer feels worse. It is the wimpy, shadow of what once was - while you grow your strength back every minute of every day from here on out. You may have fewer treatments and fewer doctors visits to look forward to, but you have more support from your friends and family to look forward to. We are going to keep this up! Keep the energy channel open! (Rohanna & Melissa, should this have had three exclamation points?) Keep feeling more and more like your new self! Keep focusing on your strength as the tip of the strength iceberg. That cancer is like the Titanic. You have a lot more strength not yet showing its face, lurking down in the depths, waiting to be revealed. You have a lot of friends waiting to be called upon for help. We can't wait to finally feel like we can do something for you. Please don't hesitate; we'll be icebergs too.

(Arica)

We are ready for ya

On my drive to work this morning I came across some graffiti. Now, usually I'm not a big fan of graffiti, but this...this was art! So, I ran home, got the camera, and wa-la, posted for you to see. Clearly, this is a sign. Eugene misses you and we are stoked for your upcoming return! Counting down the days until treatment is just an every now and again thing.

I've been thinking about how much fun it will be to visit you out in Crow - knitting, snacks, planning future adventures... I echo the sentiments of others when I say how much I have missed having you around in my daily life and SO look forward to seeing your face, hearing your laughter, and having a chat. I was up at a ski lodge on Saturday and a flash of another woman's curly dark hair under a knitted cap made me think of you. I still automatically look for you when I go for tea or pizza at Provisions. And I see you in every silver jeep and black matrix that drives by. I am so excited that soon I don't have to imagine you back in my world, because you will be. And don't think that you are done with this bitchin' group of people constantly sending you love and ninja kicks. Coming home is just the beginning...

Keep up the ass kicking.
Roh

Anthem for Week 7

Here you are my dear. Your Anthem for the final stretch, brought to you by your peeps from all over the country. Crank up the audio on your computer, this one should be viewed at max volume. Sing it loud and proud, it's what we'll all be doing. Never once during these past weeks have we stopped believin' and we're gonna keep on believin' in our own small town girl.



Oh, and did you notice the shirt on Steve Perry? YELLOW.
And, oh my god, the high pants.

Nathan Channeling His Inner Chuck Norris

Jess, you have inspired new interest in extra curricular activities. I've got your back! Looking forward to seeing you in Crow soon.

THE TROUBLE WITH SMALL TOWNS

My heart practically leaps out of my throat when I read and re-read and re-read your posting that tells us you are transitioning toward coming home. The trouble with living in a small town (have I already mentioned how you, Jess, are a part of the reason we stayed in Eugene?) is that when one friend is gone for so long, it is really noticed. I want you back here! I am willing to part with you every few weeks, but only for a short trip back to OHSU – since they are taking such good care of you. Your parents can borrow you as well since they seem to have this caring thing down pat. Its hard to concede that at this point, when you’ve worked so hard in the treatment marathon you are not “done”. But you are in the home stretch and you can see that finish line. So you’ve got to stop and start a few more times. Its okay. You can be home in between. Home is good.

Now, a mental exercise (for both Jess and Mark): Imagine yourself at a friend’s house. You have a smooth, cold but perspiring bottle of beer (or limoncello) in one hand and a few greasy crumbles of ruffled potato chips in the other. You look around and see two dozen of your close friends chatting, laughing, smiling. You breathe in through your nose and what’s that smell? Its some large chunk of meat on the grill. Maybe it rained earlier in the day, but its sunny now and it’s the first BBQ of the year. You soak in the warm sun and take a sip. Mmmm, BBQ is good.

(Arica)

flower for the home stretch

Hi Jess-
Here's a welcome-home poppy for you...

The other day I saw a real-life ninja fly by the Excelsior on his bicycle. He was all in black, pedaling furiously to fulfill his mission. I assumed he was one of yours ;-)

Joyce

Beary Ninja

Dear Jess,

So I was thinking that while you have both beary special AND beary bitchy for as long as you need them right now, we might need a new one. Special and bitchy are two important charateristics that will help you through this time, but really we need something to inspire you to channel your inner ninja. (Not that you need inspiration for that - you're doing a great job, as noted elsewhere on this blog - but anything helps, right?) So I hereby bestow the Beary Ninja award on you.

As it turns out, Ninja Bear is an actual term, according to Urban Dictionary.com:

1. Ninja Bear
First seen at the Edinburgh Festival and worn intrinsically for banter, one can become a Ninja Bear by wearing the correct eclectic attire. This encompasses a furry-eared hat and a ninja sword of any description. Further items are permitted, the usual being a pair of glasses. The Ninja Bear is a smooth operator whose habits are far-reaching and far-fetched. These include drinking with abandon, reckless nights of debauchery and kissing fit people.
The Ninja Bear was wasted last night, it was awesome. I pulled this fit girl and was thrown out of that watering hole for laying hands on a motherfucker, who was trying to ninja the hat.

2. Ninja Bear
Noun: 1. A person who is bear-like in appearance and mannerism, but has undergone actual ninja training and posesses the skills of a shadow assassin. 2. Part ninja, part teddy bear, all luv machine.
People who pretend to be ninja bears, brings to mind how everyone pretends they're Irish on St. Patrick's Day.

So Beary Ninja-smooth operator-shadow assasin-luv machine. You've got mad nunchuck skills and you are not afraid to use them in these last days of cancer ass-kicking.

Love, Melissa

P.S. In case you need a visual:

Bruce Lee

Dear Jess,

Can’t wait to see you tomorrow. In keeping with the Ninja theme, check out this old Bruce Lee clip. As far as I can tell, you are doing to cancer what Bruce does to that ping pong ball.


Your Kung Fu is very strong!

Love,
Rickobs

extra inspiration

Hey Jess,
Hopefully this will provide you with a little extra inspiration duringthese last weeks. Go kick some more cancer ass! We're sending goodthoughts your way. We love you and we miss you and can't wait 'til you're back in the hood!
Love,Lewis, Rebecca & Alice

Hey, Country Mouse,

Remember when we were going to pitch our country mouse/city mouse stories to KLCC? It wasn't really a bad idea.

Here are some crows in a tree I can see from our backyard.

I don't really know why I took this photo, but here it is, mundane and wintery and hopeful. (Bob and I used to have a contest each night where we'd compete to see who could tell the most mundane story from our day. I'd be like, I saw our neighbor, and we talked about how it's supposed to rain tomorrow, and Bob would be, like, I was eating my apple at work today and it seemed really loud, like everyone could hear every crunch-- Bob 1, Jamie 0). Anyway, there are lots of these beautiful, mundane winter days left for you to enjoy in Eugene and Crow and lots of people here who want to share them with you.

Congratulations, you're almost through this. I miss you a bunch and can't wait to toast you, Izze to Izze, at Corno.

Love from your city mouse friend,
Jamie

A+ For Jess

I was grading my student's homework recently and thinking about how I didn't get grades when I was young and homeschooled. The weird thing was that I really wanted grades, type A personality alert... Anyway, I decided that you deserve an A+ for your skills at kicking cancer's ass. There is abundant evidence for this: 1) You have completed all of your assignments so far, plus some additional flying across the country for more stuff (extra credit). 2) There is a documented change over time, and it is in the correct direction (shrinkage is good). 3) You have recruited and maintaned an effective, nation/world wide support group - and accessed that support (nice job working well with others and accepting support!). 4) You have maintained a saucy attitude (this is key in my personal grading rubric). 5) You are a rock star, an inspiration, and, a Ninja (go Jess). Keep up the good work!
Rohanna

We Love Jess

(from Karen)

VOTE for Week 7

OK people, try these four songs on for size.
It's gotta be something good, something to rock Jess's last week of treatment. I highly recommend checking these out live on youtube before you cast your vote.

Also, please consider these thoughts and commentaries before making your choice:

I'm Still Standing:
Elton John has joined the likes of Phish and Jerry Garcia by having a special ice-cream created in his honour by Ben & Jerry’s. ‘Goodbye Yellow Brickle Road' is said to be “an outrageous symphony of decadent chocolate ice cream, peanut butter cookie dough, butter brickle and white chocolate chunks."

I'm Walking on Sunshine:
The song inspired this picture: https://market.renderosity.com/mod/gallery/index.php?image_id=1752956&member Need I say more? "And this is why I have an angel walking on the clouds. I was going to call this Walking on Cloud Nine but went with Walking on Sunshine because every time I look at this picture, that song is associated with it. :) Hope you like it! Be sure to zoom on the picture to see the details."

Don't Stop Believing:
There are two kinds of people in this world: People who love Journey ironically and people who love Journey genuinely. People who love Journey ironically are mostly leather-clad hipsters in second-hand vintage T-shirts, smoking cloves and hanging with strung-out androgynous she-boys outside used record stores. As for people who love Journey genuinely, they do so because of this song. Say what you will about Steve Perry (For example: He looks like Paris Hilton with Down Syndrome) but the man could sing.

The Final Countdown:
The synthesizer riff in this 1986 track is as fist-pumping as music gets without involving an actual instrument. We're not clear on what he's counting down to, but somebody's about to get their ass kicked. If we were wrestlers and it was 1986 again, we'd totally have this as our intro music.

Mile 19

JMB, this is you in two weeks. Your ninja crew is waiting on the other side of that finish line, screaming your name and doing ninja kicks and karate chops as you haul your ass down that final stretch. We're gonna wrap you in a weird silver survival blanket and offer you a paper cup full of chili, a bruised banana and maybe some boiled potatoes dipped in salt -- or, if you prefer, we'll build a fire, make a cozy nest on the couch and bring you delicious treats. However it goes down, we'll just be happy to have our Jess back, ensconced in the Crow's nest, regaining your footing, and putting this crap behind you. Your ninja crew is here to help you do that, too. Love, R

Anthem for Week 6

Sorry Dave, Fleetwood Mac won the popular vote by a landslide. (Pun intended.)

Jess, despite the attempts to belittle this week's anthem choices, I actually think this one is a perfect choice for Week 6. Or mile 19 as Mark called it. You've got two weeks left my dear, and you can do anything for two weeks. There's a light at the top of the well now...

If you wake up and don't want to smile,
If it takes just a little while,
Open your eyes and look at the day,
You'll see things in a different way.

Don't stop, thinking about tomorrow,
Don't stop, it'll soon be here,
It'll be, better than before,
Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone.

So put on those headphones and let HP march you away to the tune of this song:

ninja bath

Here's Gavin demonstrating the proper Ninja butt-washing technique.

Anthem

After reading Dave's analysis of this weeks anthem choices, we whole-heartedly agree and offer up the following ideas:

If Pat Benetar is a favorite, "Hit Me with your best Shot" is the obvious choice

"We're Not gonna take it" by Twisted Sister is a fan favorite for an 80's guitar rock, few chords ass-kick'n anthem

If country is your thing, "Find yourself" by Brad Paisley

And for sheer entertainment, "Bitchin' Camero" by the Dead Milkmen.

Last, but not least, an excellent song for any occasion, "Get Free" by the Vines

Jess, we hope that any of these songs will bring a smile to your face and let you know that we are thinking about you in the frozen tundra that is St. Louis, MO. Our best to you and Mark

Love, the Tourniers