On the occasion of your return

Here you are, on the other side of that kiln fire, transformed. I can only imagine the mishmash of exhaustion and exhilaration with which you are preparing for the journey back into strength and good health.

You can do it.

I think Darwin was right: "Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge: it is those who know little, and not those who know much, who so positively assert that this or that problem will never be solved by science." You have proven these last months that knowledge is power; it is fight; it is strength.

But it is on an occasion this important that the recovering Catholic in me sees the value, too, in invoking God. Don't worry, I'm not going all re-born on you (er, "not that there's anything wrong with that..."), but let's just cover all our bases, shall we?
The prayer below feels to me like Grandma-meets-fortune-cookie-meets-a-"Love is..."-statuette. Maybe a "Love is..." ninja statuette.
I bet if you eat tofu pate while you read it, you could call it a meditation.
I hope that you enjoy every last one of these happiness-es upon the momentous occasion of your return home...

Dear God, I thank thee for the little joys that spangle a day with brightness: The cool dew sparkling in the early morning, the smell of fresh coffee at breakfast, the tug of wind on white clothes billowing like sails on the line, the slamming of doors as members of the family come home, the sudden laughter of shared enjoyment, the happiness that comes from finding a certain letter in the mailbox, the thrill of discovering the first seedling poking up through garden soil, the pleasure of seeing old friends who drop in, the special music of church bells ringing on Sunday.

Help me to appreciate the value of the little things that shine in the texture of each day, for by finding happiness in this way, I shall have happiness to give. Amen

Biggest love, friend.
bobbie

Icebergs

So you're feeling like hell. That's good. You know, the body is an amazing thing. You are going to recover from this. Your good microbes will be back in shape in no time. You may not feel like your old self, but I wonder; do you feel like a new cancer-free self? It's easy from the outside to tell you to just embrace feeling shitty - because if you feel bad that cancer feels worse. It is the wimpy, shadow of what once was - while you grow your strength back every minute of every day from here on out. You may have fewer treatments and fewer doctors visits to look forward to, but you have more support from your friends and family to look forward to. We are going to keep this up! Keep the energy channel open! (Rohanna & Melissa, should this have had three exclamation points?) Keep feeling more and more like your new self! Keep focusing on your strength as the tip of the strength iceberg. That cancer is like the Titanic. You have a lot more strength not yet showing its face, lurking down in the depths, waiting to be revealed. You have a lot of friends waiting to be called upon for help. We can't wait to finally feel like we can do something for you. Please don't hesitate; we'll be icebergs too.

(Arica)

We are ready for ya

On my drive to work this morning I came across some graffiti. Now, usually I'm not a big fan of graffiti, but this...this was art! So, I ran home, got the camera, and wa-la, posted for you to see. Clearly, this is a sign. Eugene misses you and we are stoked for your upcoming return! Counting down the days until treatment is just an every now and again thing.

I've been thinking about how much fun it will be to visit you out in Crow - knitting, snacks, planning future adventures... I echo the sentiments of others when I say how much I have missed having you around in my daily life and SO look forward to seeing your face, hearing your laughter, and having a chat. I was up at a ski lodge on Saturday and a flash of another woman's curly dark hair under a knitted cap made me think of you. I still automatically look for you when I go for tea or pizza at Provisions. And I see you in every silver jeep and black matrix that drives by. I am so excited that soon I don't have to imagine you back in my world, because you will be. And don't think that you are done with this bitchin' group of people constantly sending you love and ninja kicks. Coming home is just the beginning...

Keep up the ass kicking.
Roh

Anthem for Week 7

Here you are my dear. Your Anthem for the final stretch, brought to you by your peeps from all over the country. Crank up the audio on your computer, this one should be viewed at max volume. Sing it loud and proud, it's what we'll all be doing. Never once during these past weeks have we stopped believin' and we're gonna keep on believin' in our own small town girl.



Oh, and did you notice the shirt on Steve Perry? YELLOW.
And, oh my god, the high pants.

Nathan Channeling His Inner Chuck Norris

Jess, you have inspired new interest in extra curricular activities. I've got your back! Looking forward to seeing you in Crow soon.

THE TROUBLE WITH SMALL TOWNS

My heart practically leaps out of my throat when I read and re-read and re-read your posting that tells us you are transitioning toward coming home. The trouble with living in a small town (have I already mentioned how you, Jess, are a part of the reason we stayed in Eugene?) is that when one friend is gone for so long, it is really noticed. I want you back here! I am willing to part with you every few weeks, but only for a short trip back to OHSU – since they are taking such good care of you. Your parents can borrow you as well since they seem to have this caring thing down pat. Its hard to concede that at this point, when you’ve worked so hard in the treatment marathon you are not “done”. But you are in the home stretch and you can see that finish line. So you’ve got to stop and start a few more times. Its okay. You can be home in between. Home is good.

Now, a mental exercise (for both Jess and Mark): Imagine yourself at a friend’s house. You have a smooth, cold but perspiring bottle of beer (or limoncello) in one hand and a few greasy crumbles of ruffled potato chips in the other. You look around and see two dozen of your close friends chatting, laughing, smiling. You breathe in through your nose and what’s that smell? Its some large chunk of meat on the grill. Maybe it rained earlier in the day, but its sunny now and it’s the first BBQ of the year. You soak in the warm sun and take a sip. Mmmm, BBQ is good.

(Arica)

flower for the home stretch

Hi Jess-
Here's a welcome-home poppy for you...

The other day I saw a real-life ninja fly by the Excelsior on his bicycle. He was all in black, pedaling furiously to fulfill his mission. I assumed he was one of yours ;-)

Joyce

Beary Ninja

Dear Jess,

So I was thinking that while you have both beary special AND beary bitchy for as long as you need them right now, we might need a new one. Special and bitchy are two important charateristics that will help you through this time, but really we need something to inspire you to channel your inner ninja. (Not that you need inspiration for that - you're doing a great job, as noted elsewhere on this blog - but anything helps, right?) So I hereby bestow the Beary Ninja award on you.

As it turns out, Ninja Bear is an actual term, according to Urban Dictionary.com:

1. Ninja Bear
First seen at the Edinburgh Festival and worn intrinsically for banter, one can become a Ninja Bear by wearing the correct eclectic attire. This encompasses a furry-eared hat and a ninja sword of any description. Further items are permitted, the usual being a pair of glasses. The Ninja Bear is a smooth operator whose habits are far-reaching and far-fetched. These include drinking with abandon, reckless nights of debauchery and kissing fit people.
The Ninja Bear was wasted last night, it was awesome. I pulled this fit girl and was thrown out of that watering hole for laying hands on a motherfucker, who was trying to ninja the hat.

2. Ninja Bear
Noun: 1. A person who is bear-like in appearance and mannerism, but has undergone actual ninja training and posesses the skills of a shadow assassin. 2. Part ninja, part teddy bear, all luv machine.
People who pretend to be ninja bears, brings to mind how everyone pretends they're Irish on St. Patrick's Day.

So Beary Ninja-smooth operator-shadow assasin-luv machine. You've got mad nunchuck skills and you are not afraid to use them in these last days of cancer ass-kicking.

Love, Melissa

P.S. In case you need a visual:

Bruce Lee

Dear Jess,

Can’t wait to see you tomorrow. In keeping with the Ninja theme, check out this old Bruce Lee clip. As far as I can tell, you are doing to cancer what Bruce does to that ping pong ball.


Your Kung Fu is very strong!

Love,
Rickobs

extra inspiration

Hey Jess,
Hopefully this will provide you with a little extra inspiration duringthese last weeks. Go kick some more cancer ass! We're sending goodthoughts your way. We love you and we miss you and can't wait 'til you're back in the hood!
Love,Lewis, Rebecca & Alice