Please come back to Eugene

Since you've been gone I have noticed some startling changes in our local environment. The economy has collapsed! I am not saying that it is your fault, it just seems like you left and then the economy hit the shitter and maybe if you came back that would be good.

Gas prices have hit rock bottom! Once again maybe it has nothing to do with your departure but it sure seems like when you were last in town gas cost a lot more per gallon. A lot of people think that this is a positive thing but I beg to differ. When gas was ridiculously expensive, when you were here, everyone was talking about what they were going to do the change the way they relate to the consumption of gas. People were buying hybrid cars and talking about how terrible SUV's were, there was almost a hydrogen car and a fuel cell car. Now all you hear about is how cheap gas is. No one is talking about conserving, now people are going on Sunday drives in the country in their SUV's. And they are loving it.

Zenon closed down! What the fuck is up with that. Once again not your fault but still strangely coincidental that you should leave and they should shut down. Too bad you don't have that kind of power over the Keystone. Shit! I'm just kidding I love the Keystone, just a little scarred from being forced to eat red potatoes as a child. No Dad I don't like red potatoes! Sorry, flashback. But really are we supposed to eat breakfast at the Old Pad? Bring back the plates of food, please!

Baggage handlers not showing up for work at the airport! I feel as if I may be off base on this one but maybe if you took a second to hear me out you would find yourself agreeing with me. I was just at the airport and it took at least a half hour for the bags to hit the carousel. Not the case when you were in town. When you were here that place ran like clockwork. I often heard exclamations from out of towners concerning the incredible speed at which luggage was delivered.

It is really snowy and icy! Is this your fault? My office has been closed for two days! Thank you! Can you make it snow more? The kids are really loving the snow and sledding. Lupe loves to frolic and she doesn't get muddy from rolling around because everything is so cold. Bonus!

All said, I would return to work and send the kids to school if that meant that you would come back. As I see it, you return and gas prices sky rocket, heating oil too! This will cause the government, as well as non governmental agencies, to apply their vast knowledge bases to the problems of over consumption coupled with overpopulationpollution(my word) and realize marketable avenues for change resulting in incredible environmentally friendly earth conscious products being sold worldwide, resurrecting the US as a global powerhouse. Plus we figure out this whole Iraq debacle and start importing poppies for personal use from Afghanistan. Zenon reopens and we all go to breakfast and sit in the lovely snow free sunshine.

Deal? Come home soon!
Joel